Love in Maasai Land
In
the harassing Amboseli heat we found a shaded space under a bushy Acacia tree
to rest. Through our local Maasai translator we thanked the small community of four
men and some twenty women and children who welcomed us into their home this
last week. Our group built and finished a fence to protect their livestock from
lions and hyenas. The men also took
this time to vocalize their appreciation and to stress the peace in their lives
that will result from the fence. The fare-well setting allowed time for both
groups to engage freely and soon we entered a conversation about culture,
lifestyles and traditions in our homes.
One
thing is for sure in Maasai culture, cattle and livestock are a man’s wealth,
it is not only his bank account but represents his status in society. It is said that if you run over a goat
or a cow in East Africa there is an anger that erupts in a Maasai warrior you
would never want to see. Don’t worry getting your wallet out, it is not about
the amount you can pay him or how many times you apologize to make up for the incident,
it means much more and the palpable anger will turn to sadness and ultimately
disrespect. Lesson: never run over
or hit livestock in Africa! Thus,
life in a traditional Maasai home revolves around cattle, homes are oriented
around the herd, gardening happens when animals are safe and eating, time with
family happens after livestock are safe and full and their food comes mostly
all from cows mostly including the milk and blood, sometimes including the meat. Livestock are also given in exchange
for a woman’s hand in marriage.
With
some ideas of the Maasai tradition already in our minds, we inquired more about
the lifestyle,
“What
are the roles of men in this village?”
“To
care for the cows.”
“What
are the roles of the women here?”
“There
are three main roles of women” the group of ladies respond after some quick
bantering amongst one another “One is to gather firewood, the second is to
collect water, and third is to tend to the children.”
This
precise answer stunned me, to hear it from their mouths in such exact terms
triggered a colorful patchwork of millions of thoughts in one single
nanosecond. I stumbled over the
answers that come to mind when someone asks about my role as a woman in my
society, all of the things I think about and strive to achieve, being a
role-model and a teacher, helping humanity, focusing on positivity, respect,
kindness, intellectual ability, friends, family, safety, security, culture,
love. Just because they name these
three main responsibilities, they must engage with other aspects, right?
I
tuned back in as one of our students asked about marriage traditions. Samson the elder answered, “it depends
on the dowry, it depends on a coming of age ceremony, circumcision and wealth.” It is said many Maasai families marry
their daughters off to an elderly man in order to ‘save them from lives of
poverty’, thus traditionally the man marrying the young woman must show his
wealth by providing a healthy bride price or dowry, many goats or cows will
due. Now times are changing and I
have found it is more than unfair to make such blanket generalizations about a
group of people, although this is the tradition that has been alive for many
years.
The
elderly man of the group then asked us about marriage in our home. We explained the traditional ceremony,
he responded as if we didn’t answer his question, “Why do people get married,
what are people looking for?” Our group listed off the usual response
“compatibility, love, sense of humor…” The old man almost interrupted, “Do
people marry for wealth?” We all
stopped and looked at each other, one answered “In our society it is not
encouraged to marry for money, although some people do, most people marry for
love.” The old man stopped,
seeming to blame the translation for his misunderstanding.
I
looked over to the women and children sitting next to us on the ground, do they
know love like I do? Do their families love each other like I have known? Do
they love their partners like I have known?
It
is not for me to judge weather they know love like I. I understand there is a life beyond what I have observed,
and heard through the words of our translator. I trust that there is love in their life, but I also simply
take this interaction to give thanks for all of the love I have been blessed
with. How my family respects me and
what I think as an individual. How
people in my life have encouraged my plans and goals without stubbing my growth
due to expectations or traditions.
I give thanks I can be my own woman, be free in my expressions, my
health, and my choices.
Through
my time spent throughout Africa I have learned layers of love and freedom. It is here I am challenged beyond the
best schooling or continual failure, it is here I have experienced smiles,
laughter and heart more vibrant than all the money spent on holidays and
birthdays. I don’t want this story
about Maasai women to represent a lack of love in Africa, for it is here love
is flowing through every pore, it seems to simply take a different form here in
a land of complex change and deep seated traditions.
